“Excuse me, sir. You can’t have food in the pool area.”

— What do you mean, I can’t have food here? What are the tables for?

“They’re for the bar and grill customers.”

— But I’m a guest here.

“Yes, sir. But guests aren’t allowed to bring outside food to the hotel.”

— It’s just a little Chinese food. Some orange chicken, some fried rice, some fries, and egg rolls. I ain’t hurting nobody.

“Please, sir. Just follow the hotel rules during your stay.”

— Ok, man. You win. We cool here.

(Pops open a beer from his cooler).

“Excuse me, sir. Sorry to bother you again, but you can’t have drinks in the pool area.”

— What do you mean, I can’t have drinks here? What are the counters and stools for?

“They’re for the bar and grill customers.”

— Again with the bar and grill people. Even if I’m a guest here?

“Yes, sir. But guests aren’t allowed to bring outside drinks to the hotel.”

— It’s just a couple of beers. Some pilsners, some lagers, some blonde ales, and a rum punch pouch. I ain’t hurting nobody.

“Please, sir. Just follow the hotel rules during your stay.”

— Ok, man. You win. We cool here.

(Takes out his mini speaker and plays tropical deep house at a very low volume).

“Excuse me, sir.”

— Come on, dude…

“Sorry to bother you again, but you can’t play music in the pool area.”

— What do you mean, I can’t play music here? What’s that huge speaker playing then?

“That’s the bar and grill’s music. They play music for the whole pool area.”

— These bar and grill people control everything. Don’t they?

“Just the pool area sir.”

— Ok, then… What can I do here, in the pool area?

“You can go for a swim in the large pool, take a dip in the jacuzzi. No diving, of course.”

— Alright, man. You win. We cool here. Imma go take a dip. Lemme get the towel.

“Sorry, sir. Pool’s closed for the day. It opens again at 5am in the morning.”

— Wait… What about those people in there? 

“They’ve been here a while. I’m giving them a couple of minutes before I head there and tell them it’s closed.”

— Lemme guess, they’re bar and grill customers?

“Yes, sir. Their food is still on the table.”

— Looks like I need to get in on the whole ‘bar and grill’ privileges. Can you bring me a menu?

“Certainly, Sir. But they’re not taking new food orders. The kitchen just closed and they already started cleaning. Only the bar area is open.”

— Why can’t you just let me be happy. I’m here on vacation.

“Please, sir. Remember to follow the hotel rules. And enjoy your vacations.”