The time I participated in the Olympics

Due to a clerical error, my person was confused with an Olympic swimmer with the same name. In a series of comedy-type scenes, where they push you without being able to do anything, I was picked up in a van, gave a duffel bag already packed, was transported to the airport, put in a special plane, got fed, did a layover, got fed again and after a 12 hour flight, I appeared at the Tokyo Olympic village hotel, inside my own room.

The next day, I woke up at 5am for a practice and warm-up. My event was at 8am, it was the 400 meter freestyle. Gun went off, and I was in the water swimming naturally like a dolphin.

Race was finished, I looked at the scoreboard, and who would’ve imagined, I got third place bronze. Me, an olympic medalist.

The moment I got out of the pool towards the podium, I was called back by the judges. There was a problem, and got disqualified. Apparently, I finished without my back facing towards the pool wall. Being the controversy of the morning event, I was on the big screens, news, expert panel boards and social media commentary. 

It was determined that the ruling was correct, and I should be disqualified according to the rulebook.

On the same day of the event, before the evening started, the Olympic committee discovered that the real athlete got stuck in another country and couldn’t leave due to passport problems. There were no further sanctions or consequences, and just swept the whole thing under the rug to avoid any more embarrassments.

Once I came back home, everything was normal, but my feat had turned me into an international meme that people now use when they’re at the wrong place, and wrong time, but everything went better than expected.

Then I woke up, in Ohio, with my phone blasting all my snoozing alarms.

I think my subconscious did its job and processed my repressed desires to have been an Olympic medalist. I got a little taste through a dream, in the comfort of my own bed. It all felt so real while I was snoozing under the covers.

Let me tell you, I was amazed at how well I did in the 400m.

Apparently I’m this mega talented natural athlete (in my dreams.)

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