Things are going well. No… Scratch that. Things are going fucking great. Which makes it even more terrifying and bizarre.
New apartment fully set up in barely a week and a half. Fresh side gig that basically takes care of all my financial worries. Car is going to the shop and getting bumper to bumper work done. Got a large group of first-rate friends that support me and have my back. Feeling loved, sleeping well at night, the fridge is stocked with delicious food…
I paid my dues, and now I’m reaping the rewards.
Then what exactly is the fucking problem?
Is this the everlasting condition of a cynic?
Of course, it’s all a ride, part of the bigger journey. I’m enjoying the scenic route knowing that it has to go downhill eventually. Why can’t I just cruise through for a while before shit starts to happen again?
We’re stuck in the perpetual cycle of life that ranges between suffering and happiness.
Some people have it good, others have it bad. Some people suffer the worst possible outcomes, others are blessed with the world at arms-length since birth.
None of that ‘change your mindset’ bullshit.
In all honesty, I can’t even handle the “Glass half full or half empty” metaphor. It doesn’t mean anything when the majority of people don’t even have a glass or it’s filled with a couple of drops only. While others are literally buying land with the world’s LIMITED underground natural water reserves.
Working every day keeps me occupied,
Writing every day keeps me balanced,
Cooking every day keeps me nourished,
And procrastinating every day keeps me sane.
I guess that if I’m still giving a shit,
Getting mad, Expressing myself, Feeling discomfort,
Having energies to improve myself every single fucking day that passes,
It means that I can (will) keep on going.
If happiness is the goal,
Ignorance is truly bliss.
(Or a SHIT ton of money to take care of 99% of your problems and be able to help others in need).