You know how I was raving about having the perfect Saturday, not doing anything, chilling, having a whole day to myself?

Well, life said NO. Fuck you, you are not gonna have the day that you wanted to have.

First, woke up 2 hours later than normally, ok. It happens, my body and mind needed the rest. I’ll accept it.

Onto my next thing on my to-do list–> protein pancakes heavy on the peanut butter. Can’t really complain here, had a DOUBLE serving, ’cause fuck it. I knew how the rest of my day was gonna end up.

Then I checked my text messages. How come there are never any good things coming through texts?

Hey, forgot to tell you. The b-day thing is early at 2pm. We thought it would be better this way.

Yea, of course. Why not break the fucking day right by the middle, so you can have a semi-relaxed early morning, spend noon preparing lunch and right after eating, start getting ready to leave, then forfeiting basically all your afternoon (and early evening, and possibly the late night as well.)

Had to go to pick up a bday present, clutch! Just before arriving. And totally killed it, of course. I’m a good gifter.

Roberto, meet everyone.

15 names later, I only remembered the first three; obviously the people right next to me. Which, btw, were pretty cool, so I lucked out. But still had to go through all the awkwardness of breaking the ice and getting into the conversations of a very tight group with around 10 years of friendship. Not really my vibe. (oh, and sober). Made a few jokes, didn’t cross the line, hopefully I made a good impression. And if I didn’t… Well, fuck it. I tried.

Spent literally an hour and a half at the social event before perfectly executing an Irish Goodbye. Look it up, it exists and works almost every time.

Then I remembered, Oh, I have to drive some people back and forth to a concert. So they can drink and enjoy the responsible way. No problem, but my car was dirty and messy. ANOTHER thing to-do. Car wash, vacuum, armor all interiors… The whole thing.

Ok, at least I have 2 hours left before picking them up. Let me chill.

WRONG again. Two unexpected family calls that took WAY more than what they should have. Gulfed down the meal, chilled for a bit, then onto more stuff. It’s only 5:30pm.

Whatever… I don’t even want to finish telling you about my rest of the night. It’s all BS. Didn’t rest, didn’t chill, didn’t do nothing. The only victory was being responsible (for the sake of other people) and the double serving of pancakes. The latter one was the highlight of my day.