I need a couple of mental health days, or at least a full week off. No responsibilities, no thinking, no planning, no dealing with consequences. Just taking things slow, and concentrating on living. I’m spent.
And no, it’s not even taking vacations (although they can certainly help). It’s more like wanting to be inside a bubble or a shelter for a while, enough time to defragment and recompose.
Everything is happening all at once, and fast. One must be a sociopath to not be affected by it all. There are times when I’m scared of myself because the whole world is falling, and I’m still going, eyes on the prize.
But then, times like these happen, and I realize, fuck me, I’m still human. There’s no one on the steering wheel. I am not in control. Ride it out. There’s nothing more to do. Don’t worry about the what ifs, don’t worry about the I could’ve… Relinquish control. Give in to chaos.
Easier said than done, right?
Well, I’ll settle for the fact that I get to live to fight another day, start anew, build another empire. The music is still playing, the lights are still on, there is still work to be done.
Also, and this is way outta left field:
How come I discovered who Harry Styles is just today? The guy is ridiculously famous, and I’ve listened to him for the first time today. Didn’t even know what he looked like. You definitely learn something new every day.