Don’t have a single clear and positive thought running through my mind right now. Really trying to muster the strength and serenity to just let things flow and avoid conflicts.
No, it’s not seasonal depression. No, I’m not angry or repressed. No, it’s not the current state of the world (although it doesn’t help one single bit). Just tired of all the daily bullshit, all the words, all the labels, all the things we have to do to live alongside other humans.
Give me two large dogs, a beatdown pick-up truck and a mountain/farm house with the essentials (like hot water and high speed internet) and I’ll be happy as a clam.
The only thing that should matter is you being ok with yourself, and not fucking with anyone else’s life. Simple as that. As long as you’re a decent person, that should be the minimum requirement to have a clean conscience and peace of mind.
On some days I wish we could go back to ‘simpler times’. And I’m not talking about that fixation with 1930’s-1950’s where most of the population didn’t enjoy the freedoms (or wellbeing) we have now.
I mean way way back, before some asshole fish decided to grow legs and be able to breath outside of the water. “Simpler times” means no society, no brutality, no accountability, no voting, no alarm clocks. Just fungi, algae, invertebrates, some fishes, volcanoes, oceans, and plants.
At least when you’re alone you can tell yourself to fuck off, watch 10 straight hours of Naruto (for the 4th time), eat Domino’s and ice cream bars for a whole week straight. Hey, it’s your life. Have fun, and just try to survive. And from the looks of it, stock up on some alka-seltzers.
I don’t know how people with family do it for so many years. Every single day dealing with some kind of bullshit or problem that’s totally out of their control and could fuck up their life in a second. Hats off to everyone taking care of other people that depend on them to live. It’s hard enough having pets or a healthy relationship LMAO.
Can’t even imagine having to go to work or being a good parent when you feel like an absolute piece of shit and don’t have the emotional energy to give back what other people are asking for, just because you need it for yourself to simply get by another day.