Can someone PLEASE tell what’s the deal with the ‘double date’?

What drives a human being to think: “Hey, we’re having such a good time together. You know what would make it even better? Throwing one of our friends and their partner into the mix. Doesn’t it sound like a great idea, babe?!”

And of course, it can’t be something small like grabbing lunch at the deli or cafe. It’s ‘let’s make reservations at the new place’ or ‘let’s go bowling’. “It’ll will be fun!”

Well, fuck me! 

Ok, yea, I know I’m probably in the wrong here ‘cause I enjoy my time alone too much for my own good, and basically the only people that have ‘access to my private time’ are my besties, relationship partners, and immediate family. That’s it. 

Call me antisocial, 
Call me an introvert,
That’s how I am, and I was lucky enough to learn that about myself at an early age of my young adult life. 

My time is the most valuable gift I have to give. If I make the effort to spend it with you it’s because you’re important to me and I want to share finite moments of my life with you. 

Life’s too short to pretend you like certain people or to pass time doing things you don’t enjoy (work and responsibilities are exempt. Gotta suck it, sadly).

Back to double dating…

MY time with a person that I like (probably) and their partner (which I could dislike, hate, get along just fine or don’t care for them that much). Any of those past options will most likely receive the same response: Why do we have to do this, again?

Then it becomes a thing. “We had such a nice time last week. Want to do it again?” Or even worse. “Why haven’t we gone on another double date? It’s been weeks. Didn’t you like my BF/GF/partner? Is there a problem.”

Lose-lose scenario.

I have an excellent idea for the next time someone proposes a double date. 

First, we pick an activity we both enjoy. Let’s keep it simple, dinner and a movie. Alright. So, the Mediterranean Place at Main St. and Woody Allen flick (early Woody, naturally).

Activity—> Check.
Restaurant—> Check.
Movie—> Check.

Now we get to the good part, the actual double date. Being an artist, I decided to find another meaning to the phrase ‘double date’, and focus more on the date part.

You go on Friday with your partner.
And I’ll go on Saturday with mine.

Double = two
Two dates (but separated).
Voila! 

Important note regarding this post:

Please be advised that results for this type of strategy have yet to be documented and studied thoroughly. Preliminary data suggests that it wall backfire with about 97% of people. The author of this post is not liable for any sort of adverse effects (psychological/emotional/physical) upon your person or any around you, including: slap to the face, insults, break-up, domestic argument, being cheated on, back problems from being thrown out of bed and sleeping on the couch, apartment lease cancellation and forfeiting the security deposit, losing custody of your kids in the divorce, and similar.)