Eat something,

Have some dessert,

Maybe order some takeout for later (always think about future you, selfish bastard),

Start drinking,

Order some good cocktails (treat yourself, none of those well-drinks, actual cocktails),

Feeling good? Ok! Get some shots now,

Drink a couple of beers to wash it down (shots can take a toll on you, order a lite beer or two).

Hydrate. Water, motherfucker. Do you know of its benefits?

Are you in a place that has food? Well, get to it. You need some nutrients for what’s coming.

Order some more cocktails. Keep it going. What? It’s a Wednesday? What the fuck does it matter. All days are social constructs.

Still standing and feeling good? Get snobby, drink some Fernet or Cordial. Finish yourself off. You deserve eat.

So, here… Now you get a free pass. Get yourself some drunk food. Treat yourself.

Uber, designed driver, drive yourself back? (Choose the best option depending on your condition and your country) *certain restrictions apply*

Ok. Are you home safe? Decision tree opens, you can either:

A) Go to sleep like a normal human being.

B) Drink some more and accept the piece of shit that you are.

C) Hydrate, Eat some more, and waste your time on the internet.

World’s gonna end soon, and society is getting worse.

Might as well have some fun. But please, keep it safe.