After 10 days of first-world suffering without high-speed wireless internet, I’m FINALLY connected to the net! 

The guy came in at the last hour available within the scheduled appointment. Told me he’s gonna need to charge the full installation because “the line to the main connection box is not set-up on the corner of my apartment”. He would have to get the ladder, climb up the utility pole and lower a new internet line to connect directly into my apartment. 

Of course, this was bound to happen. It’s the story of my life. 

He seemed like a cool guy, about my age. So I talked with him to see if there was something we could do about it. 

“The sales people didn’t tell me any of that information. They told me it was a free installation.”

— It’s a free SELF-installation. Meaning that I come here, hook up a cable from the outside box to your apartment and you connect this modem to the cable.

“Why don’t you do that then?”

— I would have to use a longer cable to be able to go around this side of the wall and reach your apartment.

“Why don’t you do that then?”

— I guess I could do that, save you the cost of the installation and avoid me climbing a ladder in the snow. Yes, let’s do that instead. 

There’s always a complication. Luckily, this was resolved with a simple 2-minute conversation. But I could’ve ended up with $129 less in my pocket because of some bullshit company policy.

Then came the hard part, connecting everything back again. 

Alexas, Smart bulbs, Smart Plugs, Laptops, TV, Apple Devices… Each and every one of them needed to be set up again. The laptops and Apple items where easy. They literally share the password and settings between them. But everything else was a complete failure. None of them synced. 

I gave it a good hour of my time until my patience ran out. Fuck this ‘smart home’ set up. I got ‘dumbest home’ right now. Everything says “device is unresponsive”, even though they’re connected properly and work fine with the manufacturer app. The Alexa sync is what’s fucking up this situation.

Decided to get on with my night. Tomorrow is a brand new day. I will tackle it with new energies and recharged composure. 

Tonight I will leave EVERY DEVICE UPDATING, JUST SUCKING UP INTERNET, TO MAKE UP FOR THIS LAST WEEK AND A HALF OF LIVING IN THE PAST.