Untitled dialogue #1 (overheard)

Someone knocks on the door on a residential building. A woman quickly answers and opens it.


“Yes, thanks for getting here so fast, but he already left.”

-Can I come in and have a look around?

“Of course, please do. I’m making coffee, do you want some?”

-Coffee? At this time of night? No, thank you. I’m almost ready to go home.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I was so scared.”

– No apologizing, ma’am. That’s the job. Glad I could be of help, even if there’s not so much to do after I’ve arrived.

“Please, make yourself at home.”

-So, you told the operator over the phone that a man was entering your apartment through the window?

“Yes, that is correct.”

-Which window? This one?

“No, that one, by the radiator.”

-Ok…Yeap. I see the problem here. You’re right next to the fire escape ladder. This leads right next to the alleyway.”

“That’s always been there. Every floor has one. But this is the first time I’ve had this sort of problem. It’s never happened before.”

-Well, things are getting worse in the city. Nothing to about it. You gotta take care of yourself.

“What do you mean?”

– Government is ruining everything, the economy is in shambles. People are taking matters into their own hands. You should to the same.

“What are you talking about?”

-Do you have some sort of protection?


-A firearm, I’m talking about a gun.

“A gun?”

-I think you should get one. It’s necessary nowadays. You know they have smaller ones,. They can fit into your purse and everything.

“Pftt. Me, with a gun? Why, how. I mean… I’d never thought…”

-With all the gangs and violence, it’s the least you can do to protect yourself and be prepared.

“No disrespect, sir. I’m a student with a visa, i couldn’t get one even if i wanted to, which i clearly don’t.”

-Listen, you’re in America. It’s your right. I can help you get–

“You’re a policeman!”

-I’m a patriot, and i hate seeing young women being a victim over and over again while I’m on the job.

“I’m not a victim. A man literally climbed 4 floors up through an emergency ladder and try to enter my apartment. Probably saw my laptops and wanted to make a quick buck selling then.”

-If you had a gun. You could have just pointed, shouted out, and the person would’ve left running scared.

“If I had a gun… Yea right. What if the other person had another gun? Do you really think I would get in a wild wild west shootout to defend my laptop? My work laptop? The one where I would call my office and ask for another one, and they would send me a brand new one in three business days? Ummm, big pass.”

-That sort of thinking creates more victims, afraid to break the cycle, which creates even more victims.

“So until we all arm ourselves, the cycle wont’t be broken?”

-People have to be able to defend themselves from other bad people, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t get all political on me.

“Ugh, Americans.”

-Ok, lady. There’s nothing else for me to do here. Be sure to keep your windows locked at all times. And in the case of you feeling scared again, be sure to call a croissant, a cafe and a cigarette next time to help you, not a man with a gun.


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