I’m guessing almost everyone with a mobile phone (or in touch with someone that has one) knows about the altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock.

A man walked on stage while another man was hosting, and hit him in the face on account of a tasteless (wrong, weak, unnecessary, etc. insert a negative adjetive) joke about his wife —which is a whole nother thing by itself, I’m definitely not touching that one.— Then some words were shouted from the table. 

Saw it live when it happened on international TV (uncensored, no cut, nor muted). After the moment passed, of course I went on social media to see what everyone was saying. The video was shared hundreds of thousands of times in just minutes.

The general mood at first were jokes, shock and memes. Nobody could believe it actually happened, especially on live TV and during such a ‘classy event’ as the Oscars.

So, I went to sleep, laughing, watching memes. Didn’t even though about how big it was gonna get the next day.

The morning came, and the online fights were all over the place. 

Who was in the wrong, who did right, both were wrong, the snowflakes, aggressive black men, toxic masculinity, honor thy wife, if it was me…

I read every possible comment, critique and justification I could find. Some were bad, others were on point, but a lot of them were just plain horrible. The horrible ones mentioned 9-11, nazis, Putin, and reverse racism. It was disastrous. 

Look, you don’t know what the other person is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes, granted.

“Comedy” at the expense of another person’s defects/conditions/failures can get hurtful. Everyone has their limit. 

You say something wrong, you own it and make amends. 

That being said, and again, skipping out on a lot of context because everybody knows what’s up, do we really want to create a standard where you get hit if the other person wants to do it?

Violence for me is reserved for fascists, oppressors, abusers, people that go out of their way to cause harm. Not loudmouthed comedians, annoying persons, and idiots.

MY opinion, it was a sad display of machismo on international tv. Lots of people have said worse, way worse (even some that same night), over the years without any consequences. Not saying that those people are right. Not saying that they should just keep taking shit from others. Definitely saying there are better ways to address the issue.

Go to the stage, interrupt live tv,, take the microphone away:

“Hey, listen. Stop disrespecting me and my family. This has to end. I won’t say it twice.”

Done. The message WILL get through.

Or maybe, don’t say anything. Stay sitting down at the table. Put on a poker face. Moments later, you won the Oscar and get called on stage.

“Hey, I’m grateful for this. Hard work paid off, etc. Listen. Stop disrespecting me and my family. This has to end. I won’t say it twice.”

Done. The message WILL get through.

Or maybe, don’t say anything. Stay sitting down at the table. Put on a poker face. Moments later, you won the Oscar and get called on stage. Do your acceptance speech. Wait till the end of the event, go backstage and a have a strong conversation with the person.

Done. The message WILL get through.

Those were three separate scenarios where you resolved the problem, avoided conflict and didn’t resort to violence. Not to mention, you dealt with whole situation in private and nobody even noticed there was an issue.

Obviously, IN HINDSIGHT, everybody is a genius. But at the same time, it’s those moments where the decision that you make, will define you for years to come.

PD.
Please, don’t say “Love will make you do crazy things” to justify being aggressive or a moment where you lost control.