A young woman was talking with a friend on her cellphone while waiting for the subway at the station. It was on speaker, and could easily be heard if you were sitting nearby.
“Would you believe the landlord sent me an email today at 7am in the morning?”
— Girl, what?!
“Yea, fucking unbelievable.”
— What did he want? Did he finally fixed the laundry room plumbing?
“LOL, I wish. It was a noise complaint!!!”
— You? A noise complaint? Wait… Did you invite that guy over again? I thought it was over…
“What the fuck? Ewww, no. That was only a one time, no… Two-time thing.”
— Ok, I believe you, but you know you don’t ever have to lie to me if it ever happened.
“Shut up! It was because of Mimi!!” One of the neighbors complained about the barking.”
— Is that what the email said?
“Yea, something about him being left alone for long hours every day and night, and doesn’t stop barking till I return.”
— That’s bad…
“How was I supposed to know? I’m never there in the house when he barks.”
— Did he give you anymore details?
“Girl, it was like 5 paragraphs.”
— Shit. What did you tell him?
“I told him what he wanted to hear, that I’ll take care of it.”
— What are you gonna do about it?
“No fucking clue. And, now that I think about it, I don’t know if it’s totally true.”
— What do you mean?
“I bet it was the new guy that moved in next door. He’s always waking up early, going out for a run, and listening to jazz in the mornings. I know the type. Those guys always want to have their peace and quiet.”
— I mean, Mimi is kinda anxious. She’s barks at everything and everyone, even at me every time I visit, and she knows who I am.
“Of course she’s yappy, it’s because she’s a very happy dog. So what, it’s only a little barking. That’s what dogs do.”
— Do you think she has an issue, like codependency or PTSD or IDK, some shit like that.
“Nah, She just misses me a lot when I go out.”
— Maybe you should take her to the vet or something. Have her checked out, I’ve been reading online and there’s a checklist of behavior pro—
“I already told you, Mimi is fine!”
—Ok, ok, ok. Whatever you say. What are you gonna do about it?
“I’m gonna put a camera inside the apartment. That way I can confirm if the neighbor is lying or not.”
— And then.. I’ll evaluate my options.
“Like training or meds?”
— Fuck no. No one is drugging my Mimi.
“I’ll just let you know now, there’s literally no space in my apt for a third person. Much less a third person and a dog that’s gonna get ME in troubles with my landlord.”
— You’re such a good friend, you know that, right.
“A good friends always tells the truth. Wait a minute… Isn’t Mr. One-Time, Two-Time some kind of dog trainer or whisperer?”
— He was a dog-sitter.
“Is he gonna be Mr. Three-time in a couple of days?”
“You know, you never told me what happened with him. You just said, and I quote: ‘I’m not seeing him again. Don’t like him that much anymore.’ I always thought that was kinda sketchy.”
— Hey, it was the truth. I stopped liking him.
“So, you’re not gonna tell me. Ok, wow. I’ll leave it at that then.”
—No, come on. Don’t be like that.
“It’s cool. It’s not like you would hide something terrible from your friend for over 10 years.”
— Are you for real? Look, ok… He was saying bad things about me.
“Oh, like bad, bad? Was he offensive?”
— No, nothing like that… I mean. Yes, it was offensive.
“Well? Are you gonna tell me???!!!”
— He said that Mimi is an annoying spoiled dog, and it was totally my fault for being a bad owner and never disciplining her. He literally would avoid coming to my house just to not spend time with her.
“Oh… That kind of makes sense.”