They say it couldn’t be done (fine, maybe it shouldn’t be done), but I did it. 7,000 calories in 24 hours. To be honest, it was kinda effortless. NOT a good thing, but now I totally understand why there are so many overweight people. It’s just too easy and affordable to eat that much.

It started with my traditional cheat meal:

Large pizza with a bottle of wine.

First, I finish all my day and nighttime responsibilities, then a hot steaming shower follows. What follows is an evening of binging series and watching memes, leading up to eventually passing out in the comfort of my bed. Pure bliss.

So, yea, I did exactly that, and it was supposed to stay there, wake up the next day and get back on track. BUT then I did it again, times two (sans the wine. Stuck to Gatorade, and now I feel fine and dandy. No hangover, betches). Got another pepperoni pie, and doubled down with a Hawaiian pizza. Yea, pineapple and bacon on pizza, it tastes fucking great. Go tweet some dumb words about restricting your taste buds based on internet chatter.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every single bite, but now comes the consequences: My body storing all those carbs and fat.

Luckily, “mind over matter”. This was my huge celebratory send-off, the final days of no-consequence eating.

TOMORROW, Monday, the start of the week, I officially will get on the right path. The normal routine: waking up early, working, about 90% vegetarian diet, and exercising after I finish my day. I do this for 4 weeks, and I’ll definitely get “my summer body back”. BET!