Social Media guidelines: Follow them, goddamn it!

If it weren’t for the random memes and the sports highlights , I would quit social media for good.

But no… Work, branding, book sales, public image, posting content, etc. I hate it, all of it. Let’s go back to when our lives were private, no one checking up on us or stalking profiles. No social media drama.

You got drunk and slept in your car, nobody would know about it.

You got into a fist fight at the local bar, nobody would know about it.

You ate at a fancy restaurant, went to Madrid, got a new dog, only your inner circle would find out about it.

Who can see my profile?

Who blocked me?

Look at her new boyfriend. They just got married.

They’re visiting all these fancy restaurants, I know they don’t have that much money.

Why can’t we have that life?

Collective happiness started going to shit the minute we were counting likes and shares. If people would just understand IT’S A FUCKING BUSINESS DESIGNED TO MINE DATA AND HARVEST PROFITS, the world would be a better a place, or at least a happier one.

Do yourself a favor, follow these fucking rules:

– Don’t post your house

– Don’t post where you work

– Don’t post your family tree

– Don’t post your personal shortcomings

– Curate your life, edit it, post only limited information

– If you want to get personal, do it from an anonymous account

– Unless you’re a famous celeb or someone that gets paid to post on social media, 👏 KEEP 👏 YOUR 👏 PERSONAL 👏 SHIT 👏 PRIVATE 👏

When strangers can recreate the story of your life with everything you have posted, you know you’re doing it wrong.

Be smart. Don’t make it any easier for the villains and big brother.


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