It’s not discipline, but rather taking orders and being obedient

I am in control.
I am in control.

Everything is going well,
most things will be resolved.

First comes rest, then work, then some fun, then relax, and rest,
Negotiate a balance. Rinse and repeat the cycle.

If it’s that simple, if I have it all figured out,
then why am I straying from the path.

I want pizzas, wine, loaded bean burritos, no sleep, all the sleep, surf the web for hours, do a 1950s movie marathon, maybe some exercise, maybe not, drink a bottle of whiskey, pass out, wake up whenever, do it again, change it up a bit…

I am not in control,
my responsibilities are.

They dictate my schedule, my spent energies, my diet, my money.
They own me.

I am, but another soul stuck on the ‘living life loop’,
Just a bit more disciplined than the rest of them.

I will regain control,
Starting tomorrow,

If I feel like it,
And that’s a big if.

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