State fair is nice, lots to do, and lots to see. If you go early enough, it’s not that full, no long lines, and you avoid most of the hoodlums.

State fair is nice, but not with 85F-90F weather. Fuck me. A 10-minute line turns into an endurance test under the scorching sun. Then you need to spend double the amount in hydration. Looking at you $8 lemonade, $4 pop and $10 a beer; it will hurt your wallet.

Not to mention all the sweaty clothes and people, getting out of the machine and leaving the wet stains in the seats. Yuck. No more summer dates, let’s make it during autumn.

Ice cream is a must; no matter the temperature. You get the double scoop, always. No arguments against this. Let’s move on.

Drunk/high/sober petting zoo IS the top activity at the fair. It’s not open for debate. Petting farm animals and seeing them chill one inch away is a mood changer. The smell doesn’t matter at all.

Also adding the rodeo, ’cause that’s just plain fun and talent.

Things I need at the next fair:
– Lumberjack activities
– Archery competition
– Automatic french fry dispenser
– A couple of tents with low noise level and AC
– Some kind of clown camp where they teach people clown shenanigans