Why do I want to keep on eating after finishing my meal!? This is happening with every lunch and/or dinner, every time I stray off the healthy path.

On a normal day, I wake up, protein bar, coffee, some cereal for breakfast. Then a huge lunch, heavy on protein and maybe carbs. And for dinner after exercising: oatmeal, apples, peanut butter. It works without any hiccup Monday through Friday. During the weekends, I allow myself some dietary freedom, but never wreckless cheating and binging. Mind you, I exercise 3-4 times a week (even if it’s not that intense).

But on some days, I would wake up, eat a double patty vegan burger with a fruit smoothie, and coffee for dessert. Then a huge lunch, a couple of bean and rice burritos, 2-3 medium pizzas, half a bag of brownie brittle (Costco sizes). And for dinner, I would skip the meal all together.

Sometimes I am chilling at night, reading or browsing the internet, and I get a craving for something sweet. I would first fight the urge, then debate myself on the pros and cons, followed by bargaining. Suddenly, I’m in my car, starting the ignition, with Google Maps in my hand searching for ‘cake’ or ‘sweets’. Most places close around 9pm-10pm, but nice supermarkets and delis are open till 11pm.

Fast-forward to being in my car, but now I’m gulfing down a piece of key lime pie or cheesecake. Like a fucking dream, it was all a blur and happened so fast. I was in control of my actions, and I decided on that path.

Then comes the guilt, the complaining, the “why am I losing time on my mile and half run”, the “I used to do 250 crunches per session, and now I’m barely getting to 150”.

Finding the balance is fucking hard. The only thing that really works for me is going full GI personal trainer mode or the weekly 6-day control, 1-day disaster method.

Why is pizza so unhealthy, yet so delicious.

WHY GOD! WHY?!